Break-up with your Facebook status

A wee blather...

Amidst the flitting and festinate noise of my full working kitchen at home, many interesting and ground breaking (if only for me) conversations erupt around our harvest table.

On one particular recent evening, I overheard the statement ‘I need to get on Facebook and change my relationship status.” I found this statement quite intriguing and yet at the same time vexatious. Intriguing because I have been watching this young romance slowly get more serious and I was wondering what was considered the pivotal change. Vexatious because why does Facebook need to know right now? I was incensed!

Now, I am not impervious to new love and understand the temptation to want to share the news with the world, however, there are consequences to be considered here. Mainly, what happens when the break up occurs? Again, you are faced with sharing this with the world, only now you may not really want to. What is worse, Facebook makes it easy. They have added a ‘cancel relationship’ button. Simply push that button and it is complete - the relationship is officially cancelled, the news hits the mini-feed and everyone knows. (On a side note; why is being single represented as having a broken heart?)

Really, no one should give Facebook this much power. Facebook should never define how official a relationship is. The striking thing about this phenomenon is that the rules are yet to be established – it is all case law – we are learning as we go and sometimes quite painfully so. There are no handbooks, no written rules – it is malleable, raw – we are not ready.

I suggest you choose one of two routes from here –

1) omit the relationship status altogether – this protects everyone involved.

2) mock it to shame (some suggestions)

i) …is in love with watermelon

ii) …in a relationship with ‘Your Mother”

iii) …in a relationship with ‘herself’

I think it is great when young people list themselves as married to their best friend. These people are my heroes – they are stronger than the average Facebooker – Big Brother watch out – it is a Brave New World. Thank you Mr Huxley for the warning.


  1. SO what are you saying... there's something wrong with loving Water Melon?? Gosh... I thought this was meant to be an open minded, enlightening blog, and here you are persecuting water melon lovers. For shame.

    If I say I love you here... does that parallel Facebook expression and make me an internet love whore?

    Hello the world!!! See what I have to say... and not say.. and say.. and not say...

    hmm yeh. that could make someone lovemotion sick.

    It's a good point though.
    Facebook can a good speaker box for you to your particular world of people, and perhaps even a bit beyond... but if you become it's tool of titillation, the soap opera writer of it's screen... well... how can it put real nice...

    that's sucky!



  2. In retrospect I think I am actually suggesting that a relationship with a watermelon is much more satisfying than a relationship with facebook. And watermelon is more delicious too.


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